Thursday, August 20, 2009

30 Second Koadachrome Review

The other day while zapping junk emails, I nearly deleted one from B&H Photo in New York. They asked for a review of Kodachrome Film. This was cool, because I have a stack of roughed out notes regarding the newly discontinued 75-year old film.

I clicked on their link and instead of it being a request for a review from an authority on photography (yours truly), it was an automated request from their sales department for a customer rating of their products. Their computer was asking me what I thought of a recently purchased item. The irony came out in peculiar waves; Kodachrome was being displaced by digital media and a computer was politely asking what I thought of it all, and in little byte sized tidbits, because the blanks had limits on the number of characters allowed (a digital bouncer at their door).

Well, ok, here goes. Just in case you can't read the review in the photo, here it is:

Best dang film in the universe, period. The most beautiful women in the world will beg you to father their children; the Dali Lama & the Pope will clamor for the secrets of spiritual truth and papers will be discovered that Einstein copied his theory of relativity from you as you were talking to him about Kodachrome over coffee.

Accessories I Recommend:

  • Dark glasses to shade your brilliance with the film
  • Gold Crown for when they beg you to be King or Queen of Foto
  • Manager to take care of your new billions of $$'s
Similar Products I Own:
  • Magic camera
  • Time machine
  • Portal to the universe next door
I wonder if their digital doorman will let it in?

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